


The missing pages

by Lubamoon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Babysitting Uncle Luke, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is alive, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Domestic Fluff, Drawing, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Force Bond (Star Wars), Forehead Kisses, Luke is a Tease, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Pregnancy, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo Babies after all, Reylo babies, The kids are strong with The Force, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Writing, lots of hugs, lots of kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24971692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lubamoon/pseuds/Lubamoon
Summary: A sweet little picture of Ben and Rey's family life after their last battle. As Ben wonders about the fate of the missing pages in Rey's diary, the twins have another kind of surprise in store for their parents. Yes, Uncle Luke is back to do what he does best: pestering the dyad and also playing the nanny.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	The missing pages

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Las páginas perdidas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24969148) by [Lubamoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lubamoon/pseuds/Lubamoon). 



> This story came to me, as it usually does, during a difficult night of insomnia. It took a long time before I could write it and when I finally did, I was very happy. My mind keeps torturing me with the list of other things I should be doing, but when you are in a state like this, those voices go out for a moment.
> 
> This is a little homage to the story of my beautiful friend [Princesa Solo ](https://twitter.com/PSFanficker)  
> [Un Nuevo Vínculo](https://twitter.com/luubamoon)  
> The mention of Ben's calligraphy set is also taken from chapter 3 of herstory [Cartas desde la Resistencia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24190735) in which Rey and Rose gather pieces together.
> 
> In other words, this story is connected to hers, let's say it's a World Between Worlds of stories (and those who know me know that I'm crazy about all that!)
> 
> I think I got a little carried away with the description of the babies, Aster and Bryn, I even changed their hair and eye color, but I just fell in love with them while making them up!
> 
> Aster: is a type of plant similar to the daisy, comes from the Greek "αστηρ" which means "star"
> 
> Bryn: comes from the Welsh word "brynn" and means "hill", it is also understood as "strong".
> 
> Thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks to sweet [Reylogarbagechute](https://twitter.com/bobaheadshark) for the beautiful moodboard and her amazing rec!!

* * *

The large, polished _tintolive-tree_ desk, strategically placed under the large window, was Ben's favorite spot in the house. There he spent entire mornings and afternoons writing, as long as he didn't have to attend to other more urgent duties.

But he did not mind interrupting his work and having to leave the sheets to dry with the fresh ink to attend his children or to play with them, nor did he consider it a bother to have to prepare their meals or to work beside Rey in the little garden which she cared for with adoration.

Ben did not think of these activities as obligations, but rather as true gifts. It was the pleasures of daily life, the endless wisecracks of her children, and the dazzling smile on the Rey's face that filled his life with meaning.

The days passed for him as in a sweet, slow sleep, though sometimes time passed more quickly than he would have wished. He was busy enjoying each moment with the same fervor as if he were a collector of precious treasures.

Because only someone who has almost lost everything or has lost it completely, only someone who has abandoned all hope of deserving something better, can understand the magnitude of happiness and the regenerative capacity of love. And Ben did not spend a day without thinking with dizziness about how close he had come to not being able to know the life he now had, knowing that many consequences of his past actions were already irremediable.

Thanks to Rey, who with love and energygathered different pieces of the set throughout the galaxy, Ben recovered his abandoned habit of practicing calligraphy and writing poems. He liked to leave small notes within her reach, beautiful in appearance and content, which the young woman read with pleasure and thanked him with tender kisses. Ben never got tired of seeing her reaction and marveled at being able to arouse such feelings in her, and at being responsible for the special glow in her eyes. It was a message of understanding and gratitude to him, the promise that between the two there was no need to pretend or hide things. Because even in the darkest times, there were never any lies between them.

Accepting that kind of communication was simpler for them than we might think, considering that the bond between them was still vibrant and shone more brightly than ever because of the shared and multiplied affection, even when they were far apart.

The Force rejoiced in the perfect way they were achieving the balance that was so difficult for them to reach. For all the damage and pain there was now healing and hope.

But being present in each other's minds all the time didn't stop them from having their moment of intimacy, and there was also room for plenty pleasant surprises. Ben was happy to discover every day some small detail of Rey's personality, experiencing new adventures with her and sharing memories that he had never dared to tell anyone. And what he liked most was knowing that he had the rest of his life to continue learning things from the woman who was his dyad and his companion.

Accepting their alliance was not an easy process for the rest of the world and their influences sometimes seeped into the couple, shaking just the balance that was solid and healthy between them, but never managing to break the bond.

Because they overcame all conflicts with words and dialogue, when in other times they would have resorted to weapons and mental warfare. However, fighting remained one of their favorite activities, the difference was that now they reserved their best movements for training, learning from each other, often without being able to finish the activity and not always because of the exhaustion of hand-to-hand combat but because of distractions.

Ben discovered that together they could do a lot of things besides fighting and that losing sight of discipline and being able to relax a little bit also had its pleasant taste. After all, some of their best battles took place in different settings and in different parts of the house that they later recognized with fascination and embarrassment.

Deep down, neither of them had changed that much, because that was never the point, there was never a real need for it. Rey loved Ben for who he was, Light and Darkness, and he loved her madly. The circumstances that had once placed them in opposing sides, forcing them to be enemies, were now other and infinitely better. Ben and Rey would be forever on the same side, the only one they both desired, by each other.

The arrival of their children three years earlier was a cause for celebration for both of them.

Ben still could not convince himself that he was not dreaming and still found it hard to admit his fatherhood without relating it to some sad memories of his childhood. Although he was trying hard to do things differently, trying not to make the same mistakes as his father, even knowing how much Han loved him and how much he fought for him until the end of his life.

Some wounds were too deep to be completely healed, even over the years they left stings and scars.

Rey knew when and how to intervene to help Ben with the intricate skein of feelings that he was confined to. She learned that a timely caress, a kind word whispered close to his ear, had beneficial effects on him and that there were times when it was enough to simply hold his husband's big hand in hers and gently press her forehead against his. Hugs also worked and he never refused them, even when he was busy writing, because he needed to have Rey close by and never tired of feeling the contact of his skin with his, the best antidote to his pain.

In the same way she would soothe his nightmares when the echoes of the voices that tortured him for years would return like ghosts to exercise their relentless and erratic dominion over him. These were memories, almost forgotten matters that never quite left him. But Rey had an endless supply of love and will, always protecting him, promising him every time that together they would find, as always, the way to solve it.

The children grew up at a rate that surprised their parents and, as expected, proved to be sensitive and powerful in the Force as well. The twins were not claimed by the Light or the Darkness, they lived in harmony and in a perfectly normal way, if we consider that besides the things that ordinary children do, they could also levitate rocks and other objects.

By common consent, Ben and Rey wished that their children would decide their own ways when the time came, without imposing anything on them and guiding them as best they could with love and patience.

Although they had apparently inherited only the best qualities from their parents, the charisma of the children was a matter of considerable admiration. They were hardly aware of their parents' adoration but sensed Ben's weak spot. Rey was a little more immune to the charm of herkids.

When they got into trouble, usually partners in crime, they turned to their father first and avoided by all means making their mother angry. Rey knew that the twins could not fully control their great power and he cared for them as any mother would. But every time they smashed her little collection of vases she had to resort to certain parts of the Jedi code to keep her cool.

Aster had thick black hair like his father and wore it long on her shoulders, fastened at the bottom of her head with two perfect, delicate braids that he enjoyed making for her every morning. Her large, expressive, dark brown- almost black, eyes always fixed on everything, as if with that gesture she was able to see through things. She had the upturned nose of a Rey and the same fondness for nature. Although she was still small, her air had the dignity of a princess without being spoiled.

Bryn had Ben's Corelian-whiskey eyes and brown hair like her mother. With cute freckles dotting the bridge of his nose and a contagious smile, he was the perfect duplicate of Rey. The boy was intelligent and a little rebellious, the mastermind behind the pranks, blessed with the gift of always escaping punishment in time with the graceful cheekiness he could only have inherited from his smuggler grandfather

Even though the house they lived in was big and comfortable, they liked to spend a lot of time together in the room that starred Ben's desk. There was also a huge fireplace that brought them together at story time, and three pairs of eyes followed Rey's movements without missing any detail of the stories she told about her life in Jakku.

The cold seasons were warmer by the fire and during the summers they visited the great lake in the village of Varykino, where Ben also taught Rey and then the children to swim. Naboo's mild and temperate climate, along with its great variety of landscapes, was ideal for adventure and the family spent much time exploring and enjoying themselves carefree.

It was much more than Ben thought he deserved and much more than he would have dared to dream when he came back to life, when Rey brought him back that day on Exegol.

* * *

Ben kept some sketchbooks that Rey had carried with him since the days of Jakku and Takodana, when they first met. He had looked at them carefully hundreds of times, recognizing Rey's talent for capturing the essence of people in quick sketch portraits.

He wondered who could have taught her to draw so skillfully, but the answer was simple. To draw is to look again with attention and Rey was the best observer. Her years on the desert planet had trained her to detect the smallest details and her knowledge of human nature allowed her to take on the rest. Over time she honed her skills and kept her journal up to date as a silent companion, while waiting for the return of her family which never happened.

After all, she was the only one who could perceive Ben hidden under Kylo Ren, a tireless believer in his goodness and the first witness to his return home. We can agree that there is no one in the galaxy who deserves more credit for what she did.

Rey kept the notebook even in the times of the battle of Crait and then in the jungle refuge of Ajan Kloss, and explained to Ben years later that she took refuge there in moments of leisure and anxiety, drawing the faces of the people she loved so as not to forget them and always carry them with her.

But Ben couldn't help noticing that there wasn't a single drawing of him, no words or notes in the margins, nothing that referred to the moment they met or their subsequent encounters. And this detail worried him a little but didn't surprise him much.

Theirs really wasn't the best of beginnings and he couldn't blame Rey for not wanting to keep his picture on her log at that time. And he never dared to tell her, perhaps it was the only thing that remained secret between them in their new life. Ben took good care of hiding it because he was afraid of digging up old grudges and doubts, clouding the blue sky of the beautiful paradise in which they lived.

If Rey demonstrated her love to him every day with an infinite number of small gestures, what doubts could he have?

The last time he checked the notebook he noticed some pages were missing. They were not numbered, but there were traces of leaves torn out precisely, with care. The situation was extremely curious, because Ben was unaware of the fate of those pages, and to ask Rey about them would be to admit that he was looking for something in particular. And she was clever and skillful enough to look him in the eye and discover what he didn't dare say out loud. He wanted to keep her safe from everything, even from himself.

He once considered writing about the story of the two of them, but the episode in the notebook brought him to his senses. What if he simply told the good parts and eliminated the bad? No, he could not do that, because that would be lying and omitting, embellishing a story that was not perfect but that he could no longer change even if he wanted to. Every step they took, every battle they fought, every hurtful word and every connection, had brought them to a crucial point, leading them to where they were now.

And the mystery of the missing pages would remain, not for long, unsolved.

* * *

That afternoon seemed perfect for writing. The sun was beginning its descent behind the mountains and Ben thought with joy that this was his favorite time of day, _the violet hour_ , as Rey called it. He turned on some lights in the room and soon everything was a warm orange color. He put the materials and papers on his desk to start working, imagining beforehand the happiness on Rey's face when he received the gift he wanted to make for her.

Rey had not yet returned from her visit to the neighboring city and its large market where they were regularly supplied. Ben still regretted not having accompanied her, but for some reason she had not allowed him to do so, and winking enigmatically, she asked him to look after the children for just a few hours.

Aster and Bryn were at the other corner of the room, with all their attention focused on a small object on the floor, which they stared at with their heads almost together and their foreheads touching. Their father was on his back and every now and then he turned to keep an eye on them, with more delight than authority, because when Rey was not with them, some minor rules were broken by the silent complicity between father and children.

Ben prepared the nib, uncovered the small jar of black ink, and smoothed the cotton paper and pressed flowers that he made himself, all slowly and accurately. In front of him was the Rey's sketchbook and he looked carefully at its lines.

The whispers and laughter of the children came to him from time to time, as if they were in their own world or trying not to draw too much attention to themselves.

“Stop that! You're going to break something, Aster.” Bryn admonished his sister and lowered his voice.

“Shhh!” The girl gave him a glance and made sure her father didn't hear them. But everything was under control.

“Stop it, it’s pointless.” The boy sighed dramatically and came back with a proud look in his eyes and a raised voice. “You can't do that, you're not as strong as Mummy.”

“Shut up! I'm just trying to prove something.” The little stone didn't move an inch from its place. She was frustrated, but she kept trying to make the stone float.

Bryn folded his arms and began to tease his sister again.

“You shouldn't be doing this, remember what happened the last time you...”

“Shhh!”Aster interrupted him before he recited again the extended version of how she had accidentally smashed the beautiful Rey's porcelain figurines in an attempt to dominate the Force. “Auuuuch!” The stone shot out and struck her in the forehead, causing her more surprise than pain.

But this time the sound caught Ben's attention and he turned as he heard Aster's lament, worried that she had really hurt herself and relieved by Bryn's laugh that it was nothing serious. Anyway, he put his pen gently to the side and pushed the chair back to get up.

Before he could do so, Aster ran to him to hug him while Bryn climbed up her father's leg to sit on his lap. Ben picked up the girl and placed her on his other leg, as when they asked him to tell them about the adventures of _the mighty Supreme Leader and his beautiful Scavenger of Jakuu._

He did not mind having to put off his work and with a smile he embraced his children.

Despite being so restless, they had great respect for their father's desk, which was almost like a sacred place to them as well. Aster had expressed to him months earlier her desire _to learn to draw words like Dad does_ , which instantly melted Ben's heart. Bryn was more interested in illustrations and books, his imagination was endless and he spent a lot of time reading. That's why he was excited when he saw Rey's sketchbook on the table, which he had never seen before.

Ben opened the book and two pairs of fascinated eyes flew over the yellow pages and the pencil and ink strokes. Aster breathed a sigh of surprise when the solemn face of a woman with braided hair and a haughty gesture looked back at her through time.

“Who is she?” she pointed with her chubby little hand at the drawing. “She is so beautiful!”

“She's your grandmother, Leia.” Ben felt a turn in his heart and swallowed with difficulty. “My mother.”

“She looks like a princess.” Bryn approved of the image of his newly discovered grandmother and associated with their characters in the stories. “She also looks like a warrior.”

“She was both, trust me.” Ben relaxed as children continued to turn the pages. He stroked Aster tenderly. “You know, you look a lot like her.”

The girl smiled, delighted.

“And who are they?” Bryn pointed to a picture of an older man with short hair and a crooked smile, holding a blaster in his hand. On the other page, a Wookieewith ahairily smile.

“Your uncle Chewbacca and he is...” Ben's voice became a murmur from the lump in his throat. “Han. My father.”

Rey hurried in and her shoulders slackened as she found the three of them with their backs to the entrance, apparently reading a book. She could feel Ben's discomfort, his deep sadness, as she discovered Han's face between the pages. That was why she had rushed back, so she could be with him, comfort him. The bond was a benefit in these cases, because they could understand each other without having to ask for anything.

But everything was fine, the scene was lovely. Rey stayed a few seconds looking at them before Ben noticed her presence and turned his head over his shoulder to give her a silent greeting of tender welcome which she answered with a kiss on his forehead.

The children went on with their work, undisturbed by what was going on around them and the love floating in the air between their parents.

“Oh!” Aster elbowed her brother, opening her eyes wide. “Bryn, look! Is that Luke?” Bryn nodded, confirming her suspicions.

Ben and Rey looked at their children in surprise. They had never mentioned the relationship with the Jedi to them, like so many other things that had not yet found their way out.

“Where do you know Luke from?” Rey raised an eyebrow and Bryn looked at her sister, who shrugged.

“Luke always comes to visit us. He has told us about the Force and that he was once Dad's teacher when he was little.”

Rey prepared to stop the wave of panic that was beginning to grow in Ben.

“Actually... “ Aster interrupted her brother. “Luke always seems very upset, it's not our fault ... he just appears when Bryn and I tried to use the Force...”

“Oh, look!” Bryn quickly got off Ben's skirt and shouted for joy. “He is here!”

His parents exchanged scary looks as Luke's ghost materialized in the middle of the living room.

“You two! I told you not to do that.” Luke lectured Aster and Bryn as they danced around him, happy about their feat. Then he turned his murderous gaze on the parents. “You should educate your children better so that they stop bothering me!”

“Uncle Luke, look what I can do!” Bryn lifted a toy by the Force and it began to spin around the man. Aster applauded her brother and forgot for a moment the competition between them to show devotion to Bryn.

“This is no joke, kid. You need someone to teach you.” He looked at Rey again, but a little more touched by the spontaneous happiness of the children, and added: "I see that your parents have been taking care of other matters.” He pointed an accusing finger at Rey's belly but then sweetened his voice. “Congratulations.”

Rey remained stunned and a little flushed by Luke's impudence. Ben's accumulated nervousness made him burst out contagious laughing at the absurd situation and everyone looked at him intently, as if he had suddenly grown another head.

Though the laughter soon stopped, the children were still alien and excited, happy to show the Jedi their progress. 

Rey cleared her throat and addressed Luke with all the strength she could muster, on the verge of laughter and tears.

“Master, would you mind giving us a minute of privacy?” As he was about to open his mouth to say something else, Rey changed her strategy. “Children, why don't you show your uncle what you've learned in the garden?”

Aster and Bryn dragged Luke out of the house, without much resistance from him, who couldn't hide how proud he was of his descendants. Although, of course, he wasn't entirely sure he felt the same way about his parents.

Ben came to his senses the moment his uncle disappeared from his sight and intertwined the Rey's hands with his own.

“Rey, do you want to explain to me what Luke just implied?” As he questioned her, he gently drew her into his lap. She curled up in his chest and sank her face into the hollow of his neck, unable to hide her happiness. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

She blushed violently but shone with the excitement of finally revealing to him what she had suspected days before. Yet all she could do was send him through her bond all the sweet emotions she couldn't put into words, the confirmation that they would be parents again.

They shared a sweet kiss, like the first one. Because every time their lips met, they felt the butterflies fluttering in their stomachs.

Everything was perfect. Everything except for one thing.

_The missing pages of the notebook._

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” Rey stepped back a little to look at Ben's face. His defenses were totally down and she realized something was tormenting him. She knew it would always be that way with him, but this time she felt different.

“Do you ever regret...?” he began to say, but he shook his head, dismissing the thought. The best thing was to be direct with her. “The missing pages in your diary... What did they contain?”

Rey took a few minutes to answer because she didn't expect a question like that. And it fascinated her when that happened, when he surprised her despite knowing every corner of his mind.

After what seemed like a century to Ben, she threw up a naughty laugh.

“What do you think was in them?” She paused to stroke his dark hair and tangle a lock of it between her fingers in a seductive way. “What do you think my friends in the Resistance would have done if they had known what was _really_ going on between the last Jedi and the Supreme Leader?”

-Oh.

_They were drawings of him, after all._

Ben kissed her again, this time with barely-contained passion.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Meet me [on twitter](https://twitter.com/luubamoon)


End file.
